lawd, but i'm weak.

i called my old therapist, Peter Williamson, and i have an appointment for next week. there's also supposed to be an AA meeting up around my way on Friday at 8pm, but i don't know how that works... maybe i'll find out.

but who's to say when i'm "better"? is he supposed to determine that? am i supposed to furnish a certificate to him validating my sobriety? so yeah great i'm sober, then what? i would still have nothing. except that then i won't even have anything to numb my pain.

i'm cynical that he'd still want me, or feel anything for me, but i don't want anybody else.

no, i won't ever tell him. i pretty much told him to leave me be anyway. not really what i want, but all he does is text. i'm not even worth a phone call... i feel so lost...