So It's not like some big epiphany or anything, but I suppose these really are coversations with myself. Why would you lie to yourself? Well, for any number of reasons, yes, we lie to ourselves all the time. But I have questions and I want to look at these questions from as honest a perspective as possible. I am not on a philosophical journey of self-discovery. That's what your entire life is. I just am about staying vigilant about that honesty. I don't want to be a hypocrite about it. If I'm going to be human then I need to be disgustingly so. I am very late for work. Again. No Jeff to back me up tonight. I have been feeling anxious lately. Suddenly I want to stab Sheba in the face. Fuckin' stupid cunt. I don't know who she thinks in her team would be more qualified than me but if she thinks she can cockblock she's got another thing coming. Okay I kinda take it back. She gave me food earlier and now I feel stupid. What can I say, I'm easy. I have to print out this song list for rehearsal. Thankfully I got a free pass for Saturday and have more time to learn the repertoire. -print song list -print lyrics -download songs if I don't have them -why disco? Next thing I know i'ma get suckered into listening to house music. Today's short term goal is to get at least 5 business intros. Focus on selling AppleCare and MobileMe. Keep the yelling overprojecting to a minimum, and smile like it can cure cancer. Today I thought of various French terms of endearment that I might be able to incorporate into my daily correspondences with Christian, but damn they mostly suck. Stupid animal references. Why would I call someone that? "Baby" sounds so ugly in any other language. I gotta delve more into the slang. Take notes from actual French speakers. I want to see him again. I'd like to know more about him. What non-generic conversations, text or verbal, could I ask to get him to talk? Unfortunately I am more the type to gather information about people based on their behaviorisms, their way of speaking, their fashion aesthetic, and body language towards me. Brainstorm time! Let's start, since it's a brainstorm, with the things I know, and the questions I can ask based on that knowledge. And yes, we shall inquire after the more generic topics as well: What is your type? Has there been a particular informal list of features that you are attracted to? So your birthday is December 21st,1981. Had your family celebrated Christmas and your birthday together or separated? Parents' names? One younger brother, right? How, if at all, do they respond to your sexuality?