Wednesday, December 26, 2007

mastery of me

i found out that ledisi is performing february 15th at the Highline Ballroom. i want to go, but the idea of not taking Julio feels wrong. meantime, he would have no compunction about doing the same thing, in all likelihood. shit, if we're bein' real about it, i'm sure he has no problem, no pang of regret, no sentiments about rocking ANYthing that i have gotten or made for him.

so why can't i throw out these books? i can't stand to even look at them, but they're only thing i have from him. it'd be a good symbolic step towards letting go, right? if i were more evolved perhaps i would be able to separate the sentiments/symbolisms i've weighted upon it, and take it for what it is. but hell, i made the effort to read them, painful though it was, and tried to glean what knowledge and wisdom i could. now i must do myself another favor and let these go too.

i'll find people to go with, i guess. i have to. that's what people who move on do, right? i should at least go through the motions...

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