low point.

so hard to keep it together...

it's a terrible horrible feeling, knowing that the other person isn't thinking about you. at most they're relieved that they never have to deal with you again. meantime, you can barely function without choking down a sob, your face (at least you think) a mask of composure for the world outside.

it's a terrible feeling, having someone else put their arms around you, or trying to kiss you, knowing in your heart that only one person ever really had the right to do those things... wanting to throw up when you realize that whoever it is holding you now can never take the place of the one that went away. becoming even more nauseous realizing that the one that went away surely has no such reservations of holding somebody else, kissing them...

everything hurts so bad.