losing my mind...

tryin' to be strong... not buckle... give in to the urge to see, hear, speak, contact him... accept the possibility that he will choose not to be with me...

i'm trying to distract myself...

half hoped he'd be at the bar, but left just in case he was... didn't feel like being fake. i know i'd stop enjoying myself the minute i'd see him.

went to another venue with Andre. it was wack, but the music was on point, and there was a dance floor, so i got to work out some of my aggression and frustration there. safely... it was therapeutic, to say the least.

what do i do now..?

all i can think about is him touching me...