the fallout...
why was i so upset? what prompted me to blow up at Julio?
i felt pushed off to the side. after all the things we were going through, and sgreeing to try to work shit out, he only gave more signs of disinterest, and lack of consideration.
the weekend before, he came down on a saturday, telling me he would be leaving monday morning. i understand how plans change, but why didn't he tell me as soon as he found out that he was leaving earlier? i would have understood. and even more, i would have changed the plans so i could have made the most of the time that we had together. i was hurt, and feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me.
but i tried. even though i was even more disappointed that he didn't even make an effort to spend ANY of the following weekend with me for his birthday:
i understood that you were with your friends and don't begrudge you that, but you didn't even express interest in making ANY time for me. how is that "working things out"? i'm SO hurt, because all i wanted was to see you.
you know what i was doing all week? i was arranging for you to get your bday present, looking EVERYWHERE i could for SOMEthing that showed how much i thought about it. Friday i chose to forego sleep so i could get my facial hair trimmed, and even went to get a pedicure, JUST so i could look good for you. imagine how taken aback i was when you couldn't even make time to correspond with me.
we were in the middle of a serious conversation, and NO i don't mean about the stupid myspace account, but how you were approaching this "situation" when you just DROPPED out of it. i thought i'd said something wrong. only an hour or so later do i receive another text from you saying you JUST came out of seeing a movie. Why couldn't you have been considerate enough to at least TELL me you were going into that movie and that you would not be able to correspond? why leave me hanging?
in light of all the preparation and thought that i had been giving to you, for you to not EVEN be sensitive enough to tell me that WE SHOULD TALK LATER, instead of ignoring me when things are inconvenient, how should i not have gotten upset? why don't you think about me????
and to top it all off you decide that i'm not worth it?! and use the lame excuse that i walked past you in the bar? i DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU! that's not fair! you KNOW all i want to do is see YOU. hold you, and you hold me too... why don't you want to work it out?! i am hurting. i want to believe so badly that you care, but you aren't giving me ANYthing to work with... please... TRY to make it work... don't shut me out...
i felt pushed off to the side. after all the things we were going through, and sgreeing to try to work shit out, he only gave more signs of disinterest, and lack of consideration.
the weekend before, he came down on a saturday, telling me he would be leaving monday morning. i understand how plans change, but why didn't he tell me as soon as he found out that he was leaving earlier? i would have understood. and even more, i would have changed the plans so i could have made the most of the time that we had together. i was hurt, and feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me.
but i tried. even though i was even more disappointed that he didn't even make an effort to spend ANY of the following weekend with me for his birthday:
i understood that you were with your friends and don't begrudge you that, but you didn't even express interest in making ANY time for me. how is that "working things out"? i'm SO hurt, because all i wanted was to see you.
you know what i was doing all week? i was arranging for you to get your bday present, looking EVERYWHERE i could for SOMEthing that showed how much i thought about it. Friday i chose to forego sleep so i could get my facial hair trimmed, and even went to get a pedicure, JUST so i could look good for you. imagine how taken aback i was when you couldn't even make time to correspond with me.
we were in the middle of a serious conversation, and NO i don't mean about the stupid myspace account, but how you were approaching this "situation" when you just DROPPED out of it. i thought i'd said something wrong. only an hour or so later do i receive another text from you saying you JUST came out of seeing a movie. Why couldn't you have been considerate enough to at least TELL me you were going into that movie and that you would not be able to correspond? why leave me hanging?
in light of all the preparation and thought that i had been giving to you, for you to not EVEN be sensitive enough to tell me that WE SHOULD TALK LATER, instead of ignoring me when things are inconvenient, how should i not have gotten upset? why don't you think about me????
and to top it all off you decide that i'm not worth it?! and use the lame excuse that i walked past you in the bar? i DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU! that's not fair! you KNOW all i want to do is see YOU. hold you, and you hold me too... why don't you want to work it out?! i am hurting. i want to believe so badly that you care, but you aren't giving me ANYthing to work with... please... TRY to make it work... don't shut me out...
posted by edjamuhkaytedqt at 6:59 PM
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