weblog 072507
i can't drink anymore. they conflict with the anit-depressants that my doctor prescribed me on monday. yeah i'm depressed, and what? i just don't see a lot of hope for anything.
friends are acting stupid too. not behaving like friends at all. inconsiderate. if you can't make time be up front about it. if you're running late let me know! if you're busy flirting with some stupid boy while i'm waiting for you at the designated meeting spot then don't say "i'll be right there." that's bullshit, and i have nothing but contempt for you. my time is short, keep up or get left behind.
it took all i had not to punch Erskine in his fuckin' mouth last night. i specifically asked him to record my performance for me because i needed it for my music page. so the fuck if it happens to not be the song you want to hear? it ain't fucking about you you stupid hick piece of shit! if you were going to be that flighty about it then maybe you shouldn't have agreed to do it. i would have immediately found somebody else. this is pretty much the icing on the cake, and the boy is officially cut off from my circle.
just like that wannabe knowitall stephen. how the fuck dare you come out your face and start feelin' yourself? it was kinda like in the scene from Clueless when Brittany Murphy's character really swore her shit was startin' smell like roses. but like outkast says, roses really do smell like shit!
on June 30th, NYC gay pride the plan was to hang out with Ramon. it was basically supposed to be the two of us and we were gonna wyle out all over pride. we did NOT want a big crowd rollin around with us because we wanted to make sure we were free agents more or less, with the exception of having each other's back, as needed. Erskine bugged me for the umpteenth time about doin stuff together and my guilt complex kicked in so i let him tag along as well. Ramon prudently invited Wilda along so there'd be somewhat of an equalizer, and that was basically it. there were others that would call or see what either of us (me and Ramon) were up to but we stayed true to the plan.
then Stephen just kept buggin' me about meeting, but was also feelin' himself at the same time coz he wanted to hang out. it would have been fine, but he also brought two more losers with him, thereby making the group that much bigger. STOOPID! i had no time for hangers on, certainly ones that were for all intents and purposes wallflowers tryna rock our shine like it was any of that to begin with.
it was all well and good until we decided to take a break and head back to Ramon's place and chill. he was gracious enough to suffer the presence of Stephen (coz he was my friend) but also permitted the two other friends to come as well. WHY did Stephen push the envelope and call some additional trick over to come through as well, who WASN'T even hanging out with us throughout the day, back to Ramon's place, someone he hardly knew, but PRESUMED to call a friend? no, and Ramon doesn't call you friend, you were MY friend and represented yourself very poorly which was embarrassing to me. that's not how it works you stupid FETUS! aargh.
at the apartment the dumb fuck THEN proceeds to try to sneak said trick into the bathroom so he can get bent over the muthafuckin' sink like it was goin' out of style. i banged on the door demanding that they get the fuck out, this ain't your house and you are being disrespectful to the host. this ain't no goddamn sex party asshole! you're disrespecting my friend's home. and he retorts with "well he's my friend too" which is really presumptious on his part. when the fuck do y'all hang out? have real conversation? last i check y'alls LAST exchange was at a dinner party i had last year, where you were so drunk you were making out with multiple people including Ramon. Ramon took it for what it was, some mess gettin' hot in the pants, but that's it. the cash is on the dresser, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. so NO, boo, you ain't muthafuckin' friends. that's my BROTHER, and i know him better than you ever will.
these are the same kids who swear they're so fucking mature for their age but just trip and show their asses, most times by virtue of simply stating as much.
here's a clue for you. most people who have to SAY they're really mature, probably aren't. if you're loathe to say you're age because you feel that it's not reflective of your personality, then clearly are the kind of person that needs to just walk around with a disclaimer stamped to your god damn forehead.
let it be known. i have a very low threshold. if you ain't with me, you're against me. i have no time for your apathy. or dumb people that just want to be around other people just coz you think they're cute.
friends are acting stupid too. not behaving like friends at all. inconsiderate. if you can't make time be up front about it. if you're running late let me know! if you're busy flirting with some stupid boy while i'm waiting for you at the designated meeting spot then don't say "i'll be right there." that's bullshit, and i have nothing but contempt for you. my time is short, keep up or get left behind.
it took all i had not to punch Erskine in his fuckin' mouth last night. i specifically asked him to record my performance for me because i needed it for my music page. so the fuck if it happens to not be the song you want to hear? it ain't fucking about you you stupid hick piece of shit! if you were going to be that flighty about it then maybe you shouldn't have agreed to do it. i would have immediately found somebody else. this is pretty much the icing on the cake, and the boy is officially cut off from my circle.
just like that wannabe knowitall stephen. how the fuck dare you come out your face and start feelin' yourself? it was kinda like in the scene from Clueless when Brittany Murphy's character really swore her shit was startin' smell like roses. but like outkast says, roses really do smell like shit!
on June 30th, NYC gay pride the plan was to hang out with Ramon. it was basically supposed to be the two of us and we were gonna wyle out all over pride. we did NOT want a big crowd rollin around with us because we wanted to make sure we were free agents more or less, with the exception of having each other's back, as needed. Erskine bugged me for the umpteenth time about doin stuff together and my guilt complex kicked in so i let him tag along as well. Ramon prudently invited Wilda along so there'd be somewhat of an equalizer, and that was basically it. there were others that would call or see what either of us (me and Ramon) were up to but we stayed true to the plan.
then Stephen just kept buggin' me about meeting, but was also feelin' himself at the same time coz he wanted to hang out. it would have been fine, but he also brought two more losers with him, thereby making the group that much bigger. STOOPID! i had no time for hangers on, certainly ones that were for all intents and purposes wallflowers tryna rock our shine like it was any of that to begin with.
it was all well and good until we decided to take a break and head back to Ramon's place and chill. he was gracious enough to suffer the presence of Stephen (coz he was my friend) but also permitted the two other friends to come as well. WHY did Stephen push the envelope and call some additional trick over to come through as well, who WASN'T even hanging out with us throughout the day, back to Ramon's place, someone he hardly knew, but PRESUMED to call a friend? no, and Ramon doesn't call you friend, you were MY friend and represented yourself very poorly which was embarrassing to me. that's not how it works you stupid FETUS! aargh.
at the apartment the dumb fuck THEN proceeds to try to sneak said trick into the bathroom so he can get bent over the muthafuckin' sink like it was goin' out of style. i banged on the door demanding that they get the fuck out, this ain't your house and you are being disrespectful to the host. this ain't no goddamn sex party asshole! you're disrespecting my friend's home. and he retorts with "well he's my friend too" which is really presumptious on his part. when the fuck do y'all hang out? have real conversation? last i check y'alls LAST exchange was at a dinner party i had last year, where you were so drunk you were making out with multiple people including Ramon. Ramon took it for what it was, some mess gettin' hot in the pants, but that's it. the cash is on the dresser, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. so NO, boo, you ain't muthafuckin' friends. that's my BROTHER, and i know him better than you ever will.
these are the same kids who swear they're so fucking mature for their age but just trip and show their asses, most times by virtue of simply stating as much.
here's a clue for you. most people who have to SAY they're really mature, probably aren't. if you're loathe to say you're age because you feel that it's not reflective of your personality, then clearly are the kind of person that needs to just walk around with a disclaimer stamped to your god damn forehead.
let it be known. i have a very low threshold. if you ain't with me, you're against me. i have no time for your apathy. or dumb people that just want to be around other people just coz you think they're cute.
posted by edjamuhkaytedqt at 12:59 PM
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